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Evading Crusading

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== A Game of the Cracow Throne ==
[[File:Etykieta Leszek.jpg|200pxthumb|thumbupright|A 2002 label of Leszek Premium beer brand]]
Let's start with simpler questions: who was this Lestek the White? And did he really intend to take the cross and travel to the Holy Land?
Lestek, known as "the White" due to his blond hair, was one of the youngest grandsons of Boleslav Wrymouth,<ref>I've adjusted the spelling of all medieval Polish names in this post to make them more pronounceable to English speakers. Back then, people didn't even know how spell their own names, so I believe that's OK.</ref> the duke who divided Poland amongst his sons. Boleslav's sons divided their parts among their sons and so forth, with Poland growing into a loose collection of ever smaller duchies. In Lestek's times, the political situation in Poland resembled that in the novels of the ''A Song of Ice and Fire'' series by George R.R. Martin. In Westeros there is supposedly one realm with one king, but in fact each of the eight regions (the old seven kingdoms plus the Riverlands) is ruled by a local great lord. All these lords are constantly fighting each other by all means possible – from diplomatic marriages to kidnappings, poisonings, assassinations, to all-out wars. The nominal king is whoever, at the given moment, controls the capital city and is able to physically sit on the Iron Throne.
Just like the king of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men has his power supported by the faith of the Seven, so did Polish dukes coöperate with the Catholic Church to strengthen their power. And as the popes at the time were really looking forward to freeing the Holy Land from the Saracens, the dukes could help their chances to win the Cracovian throne by participating (or at least by promising to participate) in a crusade. The crusade movement had been only moderately popular in Poland until then, but we know for instance that Henry, one of Lestek's uncles, did go on one, if not two crusades. Did Henry encourage his nephew to take the cross with tales of his overseas exploits? Unlikely, as he had died 20 years before Lestek was born.
What's more, the image of the crusade movement suffered in Lestek's lifetime after the Fourth Crusade had failed to even reach Palestine and settled on plundering the perfectly Christian Constantinople instead. This was followed by a Children's Crusade, which was just as terrible an idea as it sounds. But when Pope Innocent III announced a new crusade in 1215, Lestek resolved to enroll enrol anyway. Innocent promised a plenary (full) indulgence to anyone who would join the crusade himself or send an armed delegate, and a partial indulgence for financial support. Taking the cross also gave you a kind of immunity, as any attack on a crusader was punishable by excommunication. The pope's protégé in Poland, Archbishop Henry Ketlich of Gnezno, had little trouble inducing a team of young Polish dukes to make a crusader's vow. The team consisted of Lestek and his brother Conrad, as well as their cousins, Casimir of Opole and Vladislav Spitter. Together they formed a coalition of junior dukes put together by Ketlich to wrest control of all Poland from the elder generation of Wrymouth's descendants.
[[File:Pieczęć Leszka I Białego.jpg|thumb|200pxupright|A seal of Lestek the White]]
But when the crusade eventually started two years later, only Casimir did actually join. For other dukes, the crusade had lost its appeal. Innocent III had died in 1216, leaving Ketlich without either influence in Rome or further interest in the crusade. Meanwhile, Lestek and Conrad had made peace with the elder dukes, Henry the Bearded and Vladislav Spindleshanks, so they no longer needed their crusader's immunity so much. And what about Spitter? Betrayed by Lestek, he had to run into exile from his spindle-shanked uncle, so crusades were definitely the last thing on his mind.
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[[File:leszek bez piwa.jpg|thumb|250pxleft|"What do you mean, no beer?"]]
So it's true! It's this one brief mention in the papal letter that made future historians label Lestek as a lazy, obese drunk. Especially that "having changed habit into nature" sounds very much like a nice euphemism for "being an alcoholic". But there's a few things here that don't look right...
== What Happened Next ==
{{Video|url=https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&t=91&v=P-Yr06xWvlw|szer=350400|opis=An animated map of Poland during the Age of Fragmentation (1138–1320). Lestek (''Leszek Biały'') first appears at year 1195.}}
It would seem that Lestek's plan was doomed to fail. Even Jon Snow's attitude towards the wildlings was never this liberal and he was still killed for siding with the enemy. And as a matter of fact – it did fail! In the years 1222–1223, Lestek, along with Conrad, Henry the Bearded and Swantopolk, Lestek's representative in Pomerania, twice travelled into Prussian territory and twice did they return with nothing. After the second failed mission, the dukes decided that for now, they would just set up something akin to the Night's Watch – a line of strongholds manned by knights from all parts of the kingdom to keep the wildl&mdash; I mean, the Prussians at bay. The pope agreed to treat this force as a crusade and thus hold Lestek's and Conrad's vows fulfilled.
The three major differences between these Polish watchmen and the Night's Watch is that the former didn't require chastity vows, they didn't have a giant ice wall at their disposal and they didn't last eight thousand years, but only... less than two. One night the Prussians attacked one of the strongholds; some of the knights died defending it, while others ran for their lives. Back in the capital, this led to a civil war between House Odrovonsh, whose sons had died in the battle, and House Griffin, whose members were decried as cravens and traitors. The Griffins escaped (again) to Silesia, where they talked Henry the Bearded into capturing Cracow while Lestek was away and claiming the title of high duke for himself. Lestek retook Cracow only a week later, but while the dukes were duking it out, the neglected watch entirely collapsed.
[[File:The death of Leszek the White.jpg|thumb|left|300pxupright=1.2|Lestek's death as painted by Jan Matejko in 1880]]
In 1227, Lestek called a summit of all Polish dukes at Gonsava in Paluki, the border region between Masovia, Greater Poland and Pomerania. We don't know exactly what points were on the agenda, but it most likely had something to do with ending the feud between Spitter and Spindleshanks over Greater Poland and bringing Swantopolk to heel, as he was trying to free Pomerania from Polish rule. Lestek from Cracow, Conrad from Masovia, Henry the Bearded from Silesia, Vladislav Spindleshanks from Greater Poland, as well as many bishops and great lords, all came to Gonsava. Only two key participants were missing: Vladislav Spitter and Swantopolk. After almost two weeks, it was decided that there was no point waiting any longer and most people started heading back home. Lestek and Henry lingered on, though. Did they want to talk some things over in private or had they drunk so hard that they were unfit for a journey home (Henry had the same reputation as Lestek in this regard)? We don't know. But it was then, in the early morning of 24 November, when Spitter and Swantopolk finally showed up – along with their henchmen. Henry, whom they assaulted in his bed, was wounded, but it was his loyal knight, Peregrin of Weissenburg, who took the fatal blow. Meanwhile, Lestek was attacked while having a bath. Somehow this allegedly obese, hung-over forty-something was able to escape the assailants, run naked from the bathhouse to the stable, jump on a horse and ride off into a snow-covered forest (back then, the climate was colder and Poland was more forested). Unfortunately, the assassins caught up with him 2 kilometres away.